A Fixer Upper…Wait what? Forget it, just get a new one.

Recently I came across a post on Instagram related to love and relationships. To paraphrase the content posted, it read something along the lines of: “2019, relationships are horrible and so is dating. Everyone lies, everyone cheats and everyone plays games. There is no trust or sense of exclusiveness.”

Before joining this individual on his opinionated statement, I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a short while. After reading his post, we can maybe assume this person most likely grew up with a positive image of relationships that he/she witnessed from his parents, close relatives or friends. This positive image must have looked like something along the lines of – Mom and dad were always happy, never argued and if they did, it ended in a romantic outing. Uncle Bob and Aunty Jen were always cracking jokes and laughing at every family event and it was all glorious fun. Best friend James and his girlfriend Jackie gave him/her hope that one day a relationship of their caliber would be possible. Every movie he/she watched portrayed the perfect relationship from a smooth bumpy ride to a forever happy ending tale.

Well, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but that’s all slightly fake. See I said “slightly fake”. In my opinion, I believe a majority of relationships are all a front. A front in the sense of Mom and Dad seem happy, but really behind closed doors, they are miserable and are trying their best to stay glued. Uncle Bob and Aunty Jen, maybe genuinely be happy, but they also just went through a crazy rough patch where Aunty Jen had to verbally abused Uncle Bob to hopefully get things on track due to the fact that Uncle Bob got caught going to the gentleman’s club. To avoid further bloodshed, Uncle Bob had to compromise. Best friend James and his girlfriend Jackie are new to the game. James most likely lied to Jackie about certain things while Jackie, well Jackie is a “pure” at heart which makes her totally vulnerable.  

You get the canvas I’m trying to paint? Relationships were never perfect. Divorce has always been a thing. Dating was never perfect. In my eyes, dating is probably the worst thing ever invented, but that’s a topic for another time. Since the beginning of mankind, relationships have been a huge rollercoaster of disappointment. People back then got married either for property, politics, culture and yes for some it’s because they truly loved each other and through patience and commitment they made it work. However; the lying, cheating has always been and will always be a staple in human relationships. (And no, I’m not advocating that you do those things, but expect to deal with them when in the presence of a sinner)

Now, enough of playing devil’s advocate and let us dig deeper into the canvas in order to join in the idea of why relationships in 2019 are horrible. The phrases: Trying their best to stay glued, having to compromise, being patient and staying committed, have been the key to a long lasting relationships. And unfortunately, for a good majority, those keys have been tossed out the door to never return. Who needs to try their best to stay glued to a person when you can just easily walk away and block them on all social media accounts forever without resolve? Who needs to compromise when we can both still get what we want even though it stands in the way of a true unionize and harmonious relationship? Who needs to stay patient and committed when we can just, once again leave and easily swipe for the next best thing? He’s not perfect, well time to move on. She’s not perfect, well where’s the next girl at?

As human beings, we need to understand that we are all fixer uppers. We are imperfect individuals hoping to maneuver through a relationship where it takes a lifetime to mold and build.

But who needs all that when we can just pretend to be perfect for the moment and toss out the challenging times when they come knocking at our door steps. Who wants to be a fixer upper when we can just be an “upper” through every short mocked-up relationship?

With that said, I leave you with this – Take your eyes away from this screen. Look around you. If you don’t like what you see, then change it. Do not allow them to break your spiritual core as it is the only spark that will set you free!

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